I was able to narrow down to 30 the loving lessons that I discuss in my memoir "Living on the Verge of Insanity". My dear readers will get to learn what these lessons are in installments over the next couple of months.
Please let caregivers know that I am doing this so they can borrow my lessons to fortify themselves. Hopefully they'll better be able to keep their hearts open while avoiding the almost inevitable burnout we all feel.
Lesson One
1) I learned to draw on all my talents and skills in other areas of my life and apply them to my caregiving.
In the book I describe how I used my Life Coaching skills to find different perspectives on what was happening and my Montessori teaching skills to invent appropriate activities for Alan's skill levels.
a) From my Life Coaching I used metaphor: Like the times when he would call to me over and over to stay in touch. I used the metaphor of birds calling to each other tweeting, "I'm here, you're there". It made the repetition bearable for me since I am a bird person and have my African Grey Charlie on my lap as I type this.
b) The advice out there is to keep activities manageable to avoid stress for someone with Alzheimer's. I describe how Alan's laundry skills changed over time from doing the whole load to years later being limited to carrying things upstairs for me to fold. I would feel content in knowing I was able to use my skills as a Montessori teacher to help to keep him busy, happy and proud of his accomplishments with his dignity intact.
Stay tuned for lesson #2 where I talk about engaging deeply in my life while caregiving for Alan as a way to flourish and learn from my experiences.
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