#26 Loving lessons from a Caregiver

I learned that our memories are dynamic, personal and connected. Stuff is lifeless, static and only infused with what we need it to represent.
In Living on the Verge of Insanity, my memoir, I discuss the year that Alan was in a nursing home. What to do with all his things? How to keep him in my heart? How to reclaim my life? Taking peeks at the future.....
That year especially was a rich time of discovery, change and growth mingled with tears and loss.

#21 Loving lessons from a Caregiver

I learned that complete strangers can have more patience because this isn't their relative or loved one and they haven't had months or years of coping with troubling behaviors. Caregivers are often at their wits end.
In Living on the Verge of Insanity, my recently released memoir, I describe the day care centers and nursing home staff and how they knew how to talk to Alan and keep him engaged all day until my return. I was amazed at their kindness and followed their lead in many situations. Seeing him through their eyes as a sweet, loving man helped me continue on with my efforts in a loving, open hearted way.

#16 Loving lessons from a Caregiver

I learned why the airlines recommend that you put your oxygen mask on before you put your child's mask on. Self care is of paramount importance to be able to give generously over the long haul that is usually required. Caregiver burnout doesn't help anyone.
I describe the fact that I was lucky as an athlete to realize this early in caring for Alan. I needed sleep, exercise, music, nature and good nutrition.
What surprised me, as I describe in my memoir Living on the Verge of Insanity, was that my self care fell off completely when he finally was placed in a nursing home. I have now read studies that show that I was not alone and that often the emotions of depression and sadness along with the frustrations of watching an institution care for your loved one surface once they go to a home.