#16 Loving lessons from a Caregiver

I learned why the airlines recommend that you put your oxygen mask on before you put your child's mask on. Self care is of paramount importance to be able to give generously over the long haul that is usually required. Caregiver burnout doesn't help anyone.
I describe the fact that I was lucky as an athlete to realize this early in caring for Alan. I needed sleep, exercise, music, nature and good nutrition.
What surprised me, as I describe in my memoir Living on the Verge of Insanity, was that my self care fell off completely when he finally was placed in a nursing home. I have now read studies that show that I was not alone and that often the emotions of depression and sadness along with the frustrations of watching an institution care for your loved one surface once they go to a home.

#6 Loving Lessons from a Caregiver

I learned that living in the present is even more important when big changes are happening. It allows for moments of joy and connection that would be skipped over in a haze of worry about the future. Bike rides, quiet walks in the woods, a hand squeeze, a smile, all would have had a dark cloud over them if the future had been intruding.
In my memoir Living on the Verge of Insanity I describe how often it was Alan who would bring me back to the present by pointing out a turtle on a rock or a baby swan at the shore of a swamp. After a time I learned to have this awareness for myself and we were able to share many years of joy and love together by staying in the moment.