Caregiver Questions #1) What is Caring?

I'll be sending out 33 topics, like this one, over the next few months with related questions. I would like all of you Caregivers out there to pick 3 or 4 topics that you can relate to and tell us a story about your Caregiving experience. I'm writing a second book and would love to include your wisdom, humor, joy and even your upset, so that other Caregivers can learn from us. You can either post it in comments below or email me at sotmary@gmail.com. I will also be looking to do more extensive interviews either over the phone or in person, so contact me if you are interested in sharing in that too.

1) What is Caring?
How do you handle issues of control or who has more power in your Caregiver role?
How do you nurture your loved one's growth? Do they seem to trust you? Who sets the agenda? How do you encourage them to care for themselves? How do you help them to get excited about life? What happens when things get routine?

Pain hurts more than we think!

What a list!! Ouch!!
Remember Acupuncture can help break the pain cycle. See list below.*

from Handbook for Mortals : Controlling Pain : The effects of pain

Pain is more than "just" hurting. Pain decreases your physical, emotional, social, and spiritual well being in a variety of ways. It affects you physically, mentally, and emotionally. With pain, you may:

Be less able to function
Feel tired and lethargic
Lose your appetite or have nausea
Not be able to sleep, or have your sleep interrupted by pain
Experience less enjoyment and more anxiety
Become depressed, anxious, or unable to concentrate on anything except pain
Feel a loss of control
Have less interaction with friends
Be less able to enjoy sex or affection
Have a change in appearance
Feel that you are more of a burden on family or other caregivers
Suffer more

Adapted from "Management of Cancer Pain" by the Agency for Health Care Policy and Research

*Claims of Acupuncture for Chronic Pain

Acupuncture has been claimed as an effective treatment for certain chronic pain. The National Institutes of Health (NIH) Consensus Development Conference Statement stated in November 1997 that that there is "clear evidence for acupuncture's efficacy for treating postoperative and chemotherapy nausea and vomiting, the nausea of pregnancy, and postoperative dental pain." The NIH panel concludes that acupuncture may be an effective adjunctive therapy for many pain conditions. Acupuncture has been claimed effective for various pain conditions including migraines, back pain, tennis elbow menstrual cramps, fibromyalgia, and carpal tunnel syndrome.

#22 Loving lessons from a Caregiver

I learned that I was running out of energy towards the end of caring for Alan. At the same time, as his body failed, more was being asked of me. That's where help is so important. The earlier the better.
Caregiving can go on for several days, weeks or in my case years. Exhaustion is a typical symptom for the caregiver and other health issues can spring from this exhaustion including accidents and weak immune responses. I ended up on crutches with stitches in my heel. Was I rushing? Was I paying attention? Was I tired and stressed?
My memoir Living on the Verge of Insanity describes how I slowly realized how much help I needed and how I found my support network to reduce my stress.