Caregiver Questions #2) Separate and together

Have you ever felt that you were losing yourself inside your Caregiving relationship? Why did this happen do you think? Are you able to maintain separate identities?
What do you learn about yourself by attending to your loved one's need to grow and have respect?
Are you able to adjust when things need to change?

I would like all of you Caregivers out there to pick 3 or 4 of the 33 topics that you can relate to and tell us a story about your Caregiving experience. I'm writing a second book and would love to include your wisdom, humor, joy and even your upset, so that other Caregivers can learn from us. You can either post it in comments below or email me at sotmary@gmail.com. I will also be looking to do more extensive interviews either over the phone or in person, so contact me if you are interested in sharing in that too.

Caregiver Questions #1) What is Caring?

I'll be sending out 33 topics, like this one, over the next few months with related questions. I would like all of you Caregivers out there to pick 3 or 4 topics that you can relate to and tell us a story about your Caregiving experience. I'm writing a second book and would love to include your wisdom, humor, joy and even your upset, so that other Caregivers can learn from us. You can either post it in comments below or email me at sotmary@gmail.com. I will also be looking to do more extensive interviews either over the phone or in person, so contact me if you are interested in sharing in that too.

1) What is Caring?
How do you handle issues of control or who has more power in your Caregiver role?
How do you nurture your loved one's growth? Do they seem to trust you? Who sets the agenda? How do you encourage them to care for themselves? How do you help them to get excited about life? What happens when things get routine?

I tell you....those early 70's were the good ol' days!

I just spent a home bound weekend due to our ferocious Nor'easter. It gave me a chance to get into some deep closets and I found this gem of a book. On Caring by Milton Mayeroff It's a quick read and articulates ideas about Caring that have been banging around in my brain without the words to express them. Thank you Milton.

#30 Loving lessons from a Caregiver

I learned that being with someone in pain, without being able to "fix it", is one of the hardest things to do. Just listening, just witnessing, just being there is often enough and mostly not valued for the challenge it truly is.
The last lesson in this series....I want to thank all of you for your interest and support. Looking forward to all my fellow caregivers sharing their lessons with all of us. This world is a richer place for the love we have deeply shared.


"And anytime he needs you,
You'll go running there like mad.
You're his girl and he's your feller,
And all the rest is talk."

lyrics from What's the use of wonderin'
by Rogers and Hammerstein

Success Is Not a "Do It Yourself" Affair

This is a great 5 minutes about a college kid who took another route. His job has taught him lessons that many of us only learn in our later years. Enjoy his discoveries....Being Vulnerable Entwines Us All.